Ted…There’s a Man in a Mask Ted…

In England, a burglar has been sentenced to two years in prison for an attempted burglary at a home in Bedfordshire, England. Something which seems relatively normal until one delves a little deeper into the story, which has a distinct air of Father Ted about it.

28 year old Bradley Nelson apparently climbed a drainpipe at St. Mary’s Church in the town, to gain access to the adjacent parochial house. Inside the house were three elderly priests, Fr Jimmy Shiel (67), Fr Kieran Magovern (66) and Fr Chacko Panathara (61). Undoubtedly Mr. Nelson did not consider three aged priests to be much of an obstacle and anticipated a nice haul for the night.

Unfortunately for Mr. Nelson, it was not to be.

In his younger days, Fr Shiel had played quite a lot of rugby, and time had erased neither skill nor vigour. In court, Fr Magovern relived the nights events once more.

"He entered Jimmy's bedroom and Jimmy woke to see this guy in his room. The burglar ran and Jimmy jumped out of bed and ran after him. As he did, he hammered on Fr Panathara's door. Jimmy played a lot of rugby when he was younger and it was in the corridor that he floored him. It was a rugby tackle and the chap was taken down,” presumably while Fr Panathara stood in the background, bottle clenched in one hand shouting “drink!” Fr Shiel kept a tight hold of the burglar on the ground, despite having undergone a triple heart bypass operation. He was soon aided by Fr Magovern, who had also been given similar treatment.

In an added twist of hilarity, all three of the elderly priests promptly sat on the intruder. "He was no match for the three of us. The chap was trying to break free and escape but with the three of us on top of him he was going nowhere," Fr Magovern said. The burglar surrendered to police and was arrested.

Nelson pleaded guilty to burglary with intent. He had 21 previous convictions for 47 offences.

His defence counsel told the court that he had no recollection of the incident until he woke up in jail the next day. He said Mr. Nelson had received help from the three priests in the past for drug and alcohol addiction and he felt "a considerable degree of shame for what he did". Mr. Nelson made no mention of the shame he felt for having been soundly beaten by three old pensioner priests with dodgy hearts but a wicked spear tackle.